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This post was rattling through my head as I struggled to sleep last night. Forgiveness will be one of the three nuggets of wisdom that I include in my personal contribution to the book.
Since Don Henley of The Eagles is a songwriter of some note and one of my personal favorites, I'll start with the closing lyric from "The Heart of the Matter":
There are people in your life who've come and gone
They let you down, you know they hurt your pride
You better put it all behind you baby, cause' life goes on
If you keep carryin' that anger, it'll eat you up inside, baby
I've been trying to get down to the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak and my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me
I've been tryin' to get down to the heart of the matter
Because the flesh will get weak and the ashes will scatter
So I'm thinkin' about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, you don't love me anymore...
Allowing other people's treatment or opinion of you to "eat you up inside" is one of the worst things you can allow to happen to you, your self-esteem, and your vibe. The key consideration is that they are not you, and cannot understand why you have made the decisions they have witnessed. Many times you will not fully understand your own quick decisions until deeply reflecting on your motivation at that point in time, which will often be tucked deep inside your subconscious mind. If you discover that you indeed have wronged someone, you of course need to apologize. If you have made a mistake that impacts only you, correct it and go on with your life. Should you discover that you were indeed true to your core beliefs, then forgive them for their opinion and get back in the game!
There will also be times when others will wrong you. You can try to determine their motivations, but that is largely wasted time (Whoa, another Eagles song reference!), since they won't even fully understand their actions. You need to find forgiveness in your heart, and live with what they give you!
I have tried to live my life by finding the "good" in people, connecting with that side, and working with what was available. People have variable degrees of "good," which can be defined as that which connects with you. There are very few people out there with whom you will find a total connection, and you will find that they often become life-long friends or even spouses. Embrace them!!! They will enrich your life, give you moments to treasure, and provide the safety net we need as we move out of our comfort zones. As John Maxwell said "If we're growing, we're always going to be out of our comfort zone." And you never want to stop growing!!!
Until next time!
Julius
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
"The Wisdom of Age" Working Format
Hello to All of my Visitors!
As I promised in my last post, I will share my current thinking on the format for gathering inputs for "The Wisdom of Age."
Many times in my life I have been asked and pondered the question "Would you want to go back to being __ years old again?" and without fail I answer "Only if I could know what I know now!"
I realize that capturing a life full of wisdom would fill a book for many people, but may not be very interesting if that life was very different from the reader's. So my current thinking is to solicit input from as many people as I can find who would be willing to contribute. And I am going to try to find people across a broad spectrum of American life, from blue-collar workers, to white-collar workers, to those in between, and to those who are famous: musicians, actors, directors, politicians, business leaders, thought leaders, sports figures, artists, writers, reporters,...you get the picture.
And then, so no single contributor is overworked, I plan to focus them by asking this question:
"If you could go back to being 21 years old today, what three pieces of wisdom that you have acquired in your life would you take with you?"
I realize that this angle might limit the audience, but I figure that the 18 and older crowd would be interested, and their parents might be interested. It might also find some traction in recovery and rehabilitation programs, prisons, schools...
I'm not sure whether the chapters would focus on single individuals, or be grouped by themes. I want to let the input I get drive that decision, and how large the collection gets.
Would love to hear your feedback...
Until next time!
Julius
As I promised in my last post, I will share my current thinking on the format for gathering inputs for "The Wisdom of Age."
Many times in my life I have been asked and pondered the question "Would you want to go back to being __ years old again?" and without fail I answer "Only if I could know what I know now!"
I realize that capturing a life full of wisdom would fill a book for many people, but may not be very interesting if that life was very different from the reader's. So my current thinking is to solicit input from as many people as I can find who would be willing to contribute. And I am going to try to find people across a broad spectrum of American life, from blue-collar workers, to white-collar workers, to those in between, and to those who are famous: musicians, actors, directors, politicians, business leaders, thought leaders, sports figures, artists, writers, reporters,...you get the picture.
And then, so no single contributor is overworked, I plan to focus them by asking this question:
"If you could go back to being 21 years old today, what three pieces of wisdom that you have acquired in your life would you take with you?"
I realize that this angle might limit the audience, but I figure that the 18 and older crowd would be interested, and their parents might be interested. It might also find some traction in recovery and rehabilitation programs, prisons, schools...
I'm not sure whether the chapters would focus on single individuals, or be grouped by themes. I want to let the input I get drive that decision, and how large the collection gets.
Would love to hear your feedback...
Until next time!
Julius
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Background Information #1
The first inklings for the Wisdom of Age came to me several years ago. Despite having successfully negotiated graduate school and obtaining a Ph. D. in Analytical Chemistry from Purdue, things were not going very well in my personal and professional lives. I figured that after 22 years of education I would work for my initial employer as long as I wanted. A downsizing cured that notion, and it took me 12 months to find my next job. A second "rightsizing" from job #3 was followed by 8 months of unemployment.
Needless to say, things were also not going well in my personal life. My wife and I were growing apart on a daily basis, due to my being inept at innerpersonal communications and my mishandling of our financial matters. On top of our five children, I found myself ill prepared for the life I was living. At that time, I began to write down some of the lessons from my life that I wanted to be sure I taught our children before they left our daily care for college. There were quite a few! A new job, a new city, and the activities of a wife and five children put those musings on the back burner, until this summer.
Things have not improved much between my wife and I, and in mid-June, 2008 she relocated herself and the children 700 miles away, near her father and sister. Yes, it was a blow, but about the same time I started a tele-class called "Manager as Coach Boot Camp" led by Tom Heck. The initial classes encouraged us to do some soul searching into our values, and there I discovered my life purpose and the fuel for The Wisdom of Age. I also suddenly had a lot of free time to think, read and learn.
I discovered that my passion was not in the product development world I had been in for 20 years, but instead in teaching and helping others become successful. Curious, but that was the original reason I had gone to grad school 26 years ago, only to become jaded by the politics I saw on a daily basis. Additional reading led to the idea for a book around the Wisdom of Age, with contributions from many successful people. The book will be the financial backer of a move from the realm of working for other people to working for myself and my family. Author, personal coach, adjunct (or better) professor, blogger...? Who knows where it will all end? And if I catch the right breaks with our children, they may have a nice little business to take over some day!!
My next post will share the current proposed format for the book. Thanks for reading! Hope to have you visit again!
Julius
Needless to say, things were also not going well in my personal life. My wife and I were growing apart on a daily basis, due to my being inept at innerpersonal communications and my mishandling of our financial matters. On top of our five children, I found myself ill prepared for the life I was living. At that time, I began to write down some of the lessons from my life that I wanted to be sure I taught our children before they left our daily care for college. There were quite a few! A new job, a new city, and the activities of a wife and five children put those musings on the back burner, until this summer.
Things have not improved much between my wife and I, and in mid-June, 2008 she relocated herself and the children 700 miles away, near her father and sister. Yes, it was a blow, but about the same time I started a tele-class called "Manager as Coach Boot Camp" led by Tom Heck. The initial classes encouraged us to do some soul searching into our values, and there I discovered my life purpose and the fuel for The Wisdom of Age. I also suddenly had a lot of free time to think, read and learn.
I discovered that my passion was not in the product development world I had been in for 20 years, but instead in teaching and helping others become successful. Curious, but that was the original reason I had gone to grad school 26 years ago, only to become jaded by the politics I saw on a daily basis. Additional reading led to the idea for a book around the Wisdom of Age, with contributions from many successful people. The book will be the financial backer of a move from the realm of working for other people to working for myself and my family. Author, personal coach, adjunct (or better) professor, blogger...? Who knows where it will all end? And if I catch the right breaks with our children, they may have a nice little business to take over some day!!
My next post will share the current proposed format for the book. Thanks for reading! Hope to have you visit again!
Julius
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Getting this thing started!!!!
This is the first blog venture for a future author, coach and professional speaker.
"The Wisdom of Age" comes from a vision I have of thousands of successful people sharing critical information with those striving to become successful. The major angle is older people sharing personal experiences with younger folks to help them accelerate their learning curve in order to become "successful" more quickly and with less "pain."
I will share more of the vision and plans in future postings.
Hope that you enjoy my blog!!!
Julius
"The Wisdom of Age" comes from a vision I have of thousands of successful people sharing critical information with those striving to become successful. The major angle is older people sharing personal experiences with younger folks to help them accelerate their learning curve in order to become "successful" more quickly and with less "pain."
I will share more of the vision and plans in future postings.
Hope that you enjoy my blog!!!
Julius
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