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At some point in the life of our five children I came up with a wonderful idea: the Truth Squad. When something went wrong around the house, seemingly every day, none of our children would admit to the wrongdoing. Rather than yell and scream and threaten and listen to them blame each other, the truth squad was born. I had them line up and put their arms straight out from their sides and hold them there until one of them came clean with the truth. Simple and quite effective! Other parents have rolled in laughter when I shared the concept with them!!!
This latest round of outrage from the upcoming A-Rod book by Selena Roberts got me to thinking about truth squads and several other things. First off, in my mind A-Rod is now the poster child for the abolition of guaranteed contracts in professional sports. Of course, neither the Yankees nor the commissioner’s office will invoke any type of morals clause and void the contract, nor will they say anything about the situation because legally they cannot. Too bad. His story is just an extension of the Barry Bonds saga from the last few years. And neither one of them will EVER need to worry about making hotel reservations in Cooperstown, New York.
Aside from the personal harm these, and countless other, nitwits have done to their bodies, they have the accomplishment of teaching an entire generation of children that cheating is OK, and if you get caught just put up enough parameters around the incidents that you become a sympathetic figure. Bonds didn’t know what he was using. Right! I worry how much harm 1000 milliigram doses of ibuprofen will do to my kidneys, and I do not have a multimillion dollar career at stake. I’m sure that he had absolutely no knowledge as to the content of the “clear” and the “cream”. Sure! A-Rod only did illegal substances while with the Rangers. Right! A $252-million dollar contract and his follow-up deal in New York put no additional pressure on him to hit 40-plus home runs a year. And the entire book has not been released yet. Next week will be a fun one for A-Rod. Perhaps he can rehab in Siberia or Antarctica! Or with Osama bin Laden, wherever he is!!!
There are some lessons from my kids’ truth squads that also come into play here. First, the truth can save you a lot of trouble. Admitting that you have screwed up usually puts an end to the problem, and healing can begin. Had these morons admitted their substance abuse up front they might some day need reservations in Cooperstown. They may have also put aside some of the legal issues that are mounting daily. But coming clean may have implicated many other players. So what! Every major leaguer has been implicated by association, the juicers and the non-juicers. Do any of us trust any of them? I know that I don’t. And where is the leadership on this issue from the commissioner’s office? Sorry, I dared think of baseball’s commissioner and leadership in the same sentence. My bad. I lived a half hour from Miller Park on that evening when Bud just threw his hands up and declared the All-Star game a tie. I forgot.
The other point that several of our kids still do not understand is that lying just makes things worse. Cover-ups may have worked for the CIA of J. Edgar Hoover, but in the 21st Century everyone has information about someone else that they are dying to share or sell. Are there any secrets anymore? Not if you are pulling down millions of Benjamins a year!!! Knocking the rich and famous down is becoming the favorite American pastime, ironically enough supplanting baseball!!! How do these guys think they are going to get away with all of this? Maybe they don’t, or can’t, read? Or watch TV? Or talk to other people? Inconceivable!!!
Finally, to Mr. Selig: just give up the ghost. Come out and admit that you and your owner friends allowed all of this to happen on your watch, and that you screwed up! You went for the dollars and sold out every clean former and current major leaguer. You sold the record book and the history of the game for personal gain. Let’s just call the last 20 years “The Steroid Era,” a parallel of the “dead” ball era, and move forward. In fact, until we can reliably test for HGH, let’s just admit that we still have players who are injecting themselves with performance enhancing substances, and keep the “steroid” era active. The records from this era will be suspect whether we do this or not. Hall of Fame selection will be based solely on who dominated their eras, and comparisons to historical numbers will be totally meaningless. After all, wouldn’t we all rather remember the summer of McGuire and Sosa for the joy it was rather than as a sad reminder of what baseball’s leadership allowed to happen to “save” their game?
It’s either that, or every major league player can line up for a truth squad. I will run that. I have leadership experience in the truth squads of children.
Until Next Time!
Julius
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
The Mess of Prosecuting Those Who Tortured
There is much current debate over the possible prosecution of US military and government personnel who have tortured those captured in the name of 9/11. There are many layers to this discussion, and some lessons to be learned from history.
Never having been a soldier myself, nor trained in any kind of military or clandestine operation, my understanding of the chain of command is strictly a civilian one. I would imagine that when someone is trained in such a field, they are trained to carry out orders, and to question those orders would lead to consequences that would be rather harsh. Walking the plank? No, but a few months of solitary confinement in a military jail is not my idea of fun either. How do we train our fighting force? Are they allowed to question direct orders? Are they given a moral code that they are supposed to stay in compliance with? Are they allowed to object to an order on ethical rationale? Somehow, I doubt that they have such freedom.
On the next level, I am sure that those administering torture over the past 5 years were not the first line fighting force. They were probably of very high rank or highly ranked civilians, and were probably well trained in the techniques they administered, as perverted as that sounds. My point is that they should have known while they were being educated that such techniques were against every international code of law currently in existence. Seems that they could have objected before the prisoners were brought into the “chamber” for a session. But again, what would have been their “punishment” for not following through on direct commands?
There is a drama being played out in my birthplace of Cleveland, Ohio that is somewhat relevant to this discussion. John Demjanjuk is believed to have been a Nazi Death Camp guard during World War II. Mr. Demjanjuk has been pursued since I was a child, and has stood trial in Israel for his crimes, found guilty, and then had the verdict overturned. He is currently the subject of another round of litigation to have him deported and stand trial in Germany. He has lived in the United States for over 60 years, has paid taxes and been a law-abiding citizen. No one accuses him of any wrongdoing after the end of the war. If Mr. Demjanjuk did commit war crimes, was he not choosing to follow orders rather than suffer his own death? Would his death at the hands of his superiors have saved even one life in the death camps? Doubtful.
Ultimately, the people who authorized and allowed these atrocious acts to happen are the ones to be prosecuted. Yes, the ones at the highest levels of our government. There is plenty of evidence that torture does not return reliable information. Who among us would not say just about anything necessary to make the torture stop? And indeed, we have known this for many years. But we let our zeal to crush the terrorists override the standards and values of the United States of America. Much like the people of Germany allowed a madman to override their standards and to kill millions of Jews in their zeal to find someone to blame for their woes.
Like in many other parts of life, leadership is accountable for what happens on their watch. It leads one to wonder if anyone was watching when all of this was allowed to happen.
Until Next Time!
Julius
Never having been a soldier myself, nor trained in any kind of military or clandestine operation, my understanding of the chain of command is strictly a civilian one. I would imagine that when someone is trained in such a field, they are trained to carry out orders, and to question those orders would lead to consequences that would be rather harsh. Walking the plank? No, but a few months of solitary confinement in a military jail is not my idea of fun either. How do we train our fighting force? Are they allowed to question direct orders? Are they given a moral code that they are supposed to stay in compliance with? Are they allowed to object to an order on ethical rationale? Somehow, I doubt that they have such freedom.
On the next level, I am sure that those administering torture over the past 5 years were not the first line fighting force. They were probably of very high rank or highly ranked civilians, and were probably well trained in the techniques they administered, as perverted as that sounds. My point is that they should have known while they were being educated that such techniques were against every international code of law currently in existence. Seems that they could have objected before the prisoners were brought into the “chamber” for a session. But again, what would have been their “punishment” for not following through on direct commands?
There is a drama being played out in my birthplace of Cleveland, Ohio that is somewhat relevant to this discussion. John Demjanjuk is believed to have been a Nazi Death Camp guard during World War II. Mr. Demjanjuk has been pursued since I was a child, and has stood trial in Israel for his crimes, found guilty, and then had the verdict overturned. He is currently the subject of another round of litigation to have him deported and stand trial in Germany. He has lived in the United States for over 60 years, has paid taxes and been a law-abiding citizen. No one accuses him of any wrongdoing after the end of the war. If Mr. Demjanjuk did commit war crimes, was he not choosing to follow orders rather than suffer his own death? Would his death at the hands of his superiors have saved even one life in the death camps? Doubtful.
Ultimately, the people who authorized and allowed these atrocious acts to happen are the ones to be prosecuted. Yes, the ones at the highest levels of our government. There is plenty of evidence that torture does not return reliable information. Who among us would not say just about anything necessary to make the torture stop? And indeed, we have known this for many years. But we let our zeal to crush the terrorists override the standards and values of the United States of America. Much like the people of Germany allowed a madman to override their standards and to kill millions of Jews in their zeal to find someone to blame for their woes.
Like in many other parts of life, leadership is accountable for what happens on their watch. It leads one to wonder if anyone was watching when all of this was allowed to happen.
Until Next Time!
Julius
Friday, April 24, 2009
Love Cures The Evils of Our Ego
"Criticism is often not so much about our achievements as it is an expression of the speaker’s perceived inferiority."
The speaker of the above statement is my counselor who has been such for over a year. I have learned a lot from him, and discovered even more about myself. He has had the thought above for some time, and shared it with me in a recent session. I happen to think he is right, although I would never had said it so, well, bluntly, but that is why I like him so much! The question it begs is “Why do we have such a need to feel superior to others?”
Many years ago I heard someone verbalize the thought that when people complain about you they are really complaining about themselves. It’s called projection. Example: “you are selfish” isn’t so much that the target is selfish, but that the speaker is selfish, and perhaps do not like that they are selfish. I have encountered many who say these sorts of things, and found that indeed they are usually commenting more on themselves than the subject of the moment. I find myself making these sorts of statements much less often than those around me, and wondered if I didn’t do it because I didn’t want to publically comment on myself or others. I have come to the conclusion that I am just far less judgmental than many and less extroverted (and vocal) than most, borne out by my INFP Myers-Briggs type.
Why are we so competitive? Why do we need so much to win in interpersonal situations? Why do we need to feel superior to those around us? My position for today is that the ego is the bad guy here, the ego as presented by Marianne Williamson in “A Return to Love” and subsequent books. Some excerpts:
“…ego…as the ancient Greeks used it – as the notion of a small, separated self. It is a false belief about ourselves, a lie about who and what we really are.”
“The ego is our self-love turned into self-hatred.”
“The ego…draws us away from the love in our hearts. The ego is our mental power turned against ourselves…it proceeds to counsel us to look out for ourselves, at the expense of others. It teaches us selfishness, greed, judgment and small-mindedness.”
Ms. Williamson’s teaching is that love is the one thing that every human being is born with, and that fear is it’s polar opposite, and fear is completely learned during our life experiences. It’s a powerful tool in the upbringing of many. It helps to provide boundaries. We “imagine” many things that we are afraid of, “borrowing trouble”, and very few of them come to fruition. If we believe the teachings of the Law of Attraction (LOA) community, then we attract that which we think and believe, ergo the manifestation of at least a fraction of our fears. Would it not be better to focus on the love in our hearts, the possibilities it can bring forth, and manifest love rather than imagined situations?
The other connection between Ms. Williamson’s teachings and the developing LOA beliefs is centered on energy. In Ms. Williamson’s world, love isn’t material, but rather energy. Recent teachings from John Assaraf, in his book “The Answer,” relate “energy” as the thing that differentiates one state from the other. For example, the protons, neutrons and electrons that make up all matter are the same particles. Why have some particles combined to become water atoms, others to become gold atoms, and so on? The current theory of quantum physics is that the energy at the moment of conception drove the distinction, and that energy can be controlled by our thoughts. It is how “thoughts become things.” Therefore, love being energy and energy being the key to attraction, it makes complete sense to me that by sharing our love inwardly and outwardly we can attract the kind of life that we want for ourselves and those around us in the world. And, following Ms. Williamson’s advice, by outwardly sharing our love we can impact the course of the world and move it to a better, more positive and less fearful place.
Remembering the adage that “FEAR=False Expectations Appearing Real” reminds us that we can actually make our fears real if we dwell on them and give them the energy of the ego. By releasing our fears and letting our love shine through, we can make our lives better, stronger, and more productive while spending (or wasting) less time inventing situations that could go wrong, but rarely do.
Until Next Time,
Julius
Friday, April 10, 2009
Love and Sex: A Wisdom of Age Position…
Many years ago there was an installment of Dear Abby’s advice column that used equations to relate love and sex. In a nutshell, she made the point that love without sex does not equal zero. She, of course, is right, but there is so much more to consider. I have done a lot of reading lately of the works of Marianne Williamson, and that reading has inspired the following thesis:
The most basic equations on this topic are the following:
SEX = LOVE
LOVE = SEX
which are rigorously the same equation, but I have a reason for listing them both. Clearly, even a semi-enlightened person would agree that these equations are false. There is no direct relationship, particularly in today’s world between these two concepts. You can clearly have love without sex and vice versa. That would mean that the following equations are also incorrect:
SEX – LOVE = 0
LOVE – SEX = 0
So, if we accept that these equations are both incorrect, then either love or sex must have a greater value than the other. The complicating factor is that the determination of which is greater is completely dependent on the individual and their place in their life. Consider the range of possibilities for the first equation:
SEX – LOVE = [PLEASURE, NEEDINESS, MANIPULATION, CODEPENDENCY, RELEASE]
and a whole host of other possibilities (feel free to expand in the comments section below). If we believe in God, we believe that we were given free will, and the ability to have sex is a wonderful expression of our free will. Unfortunately, we may have used sex for the purposes listed above and many that I have not listed. The issue, as I see it, is that sex without love can be destructive. There are many implications for a dysfunctional relationship, and the added risk of an unplanned pregnancy. In fact, I would propose that we can lump “sex without love” in with a lot of other vices of today’s world that, when indulged to excess, are counterproductive. And I am thinking of food, alcohol, drugs, and any other means we have of dulling our senses to get through the day.
On the other hand:
LOVE – SEX = [HEALTHY, GLOBAL, HONORING OF GOD, FOR THE WHOLE HUMAN RACE]
and again, a whole host of other possibilities (and again, feel free to expand in the comments section below). The writings of Marianne Williamson teach that love is the manifestation of God that exists in each and every one of his creations, and if you are reading this that includes you! Sharing the love we have in our hearts allows us to expand our influence on the world, and helps bring people together for the common good. Love is the one universal concept, the one universal language that can stop the madness in today’s world and move us to a higher plane of cooperation.
That being said, I propose that the correct equation is:
LOVE >>>>>>>>>>>>> SEX
meaning that love is much greater than sex, and sharing that love improves the odds that you can change your life and bring yourself closer to your full potential. Find a way to share your love, and you can be happy! Find a way to have a career sharing your love, and you will never work another day in your life!!! And love is one of those rare things in our world that are truly multiplied when we share it with others!!!!
Until Next Time!
Julius
The most basic equations on this topic are the following:
SEX = LOVE
LOVE = SEX
which are rigorously the same equation, but I have a reason for listing them both. Clearly, even a semi-enlightened person would agree that these equations are false. There is no direct relationship, particularly in today’s world between these two concepts. You can clearly have love without sex and vice versa. That would mean that the following equations are also incorrect:
SEX – LOVE = 0
LOVE – SEX = 0
So, if we accept that these equations are both incorrect, then either love or sex must have a greater value than the other. The complicating factor is that the determination of which is greater is completely dependent on the individual and their place in their life. Consider the range of possibilities for the first equation:
SEX – LOVE = [PLEASURE, NEEDINESS, MANIPULATION, CODEPENDENCY, RELEASE]
and a whole host of other possibilities (feel free to expand in the comments section below). If we believe in God, we believe that we were given free will, and the ability to have sex is a wonderful expression of our free will. Unfortunately, we may have used sex for the purposes listed above and many that I have not listed. The issue, as I see it, is that sex without love can be destructive. There are many implications for a dysfunctional relationship, and the added risk of an unplanned pregnancy. In fact, I would propose that we can lump “sex without love” in with a lot of other vices of today’s world that, when indulged to excess, are counterproductive. And I am thinking of food, alcohol, drugs, and any other means we have of dulling our senses to get through the day.
On the other hand:
LOVE – SEX = [HEALTHY, GLOBAL, HONORING OF GOD, FOR THE WHOLE HUMAN RACE]
and again, a whole host of other possibilities (and again, feel free to expand in the comments section below). The writings of Marianne Williamson teach that love is the manifestation of God that exists in each and every one of his creations, and if you are reading this that includes you! Sharing the love we have in our hearts allows us to expand our influence on the world, and helps bring people together for the common good. Love is the one universal concept, the one universal language that can stop the madness in today’s world and move us to a higher plane of cooperation.
That being said, I propose that the correct equation is:
LOVE >>>>>>>>>>>>> SEX
meaning that love is much greater than sex, and sharing that love improves the odds that you can change your life and bring yourself closer to your full potential. Find a way to share your love, and you can be happy! Find a way to have a career sharing your love, and you will never work another day in your life!!! And love is one of those rare things in our world that are truly multiplied when we share it with others!!!!
Until Next Time!
Julius
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